I read a recent article about suspensions in Tulsa – hundreds of children are being expelled or suspended for aggressive, out-of-control behavior, including assault – and they weren’t just limited to high school students. We’re talking about hundreds of preschool students who have been suspended over the past few years. A vast majority of the suspensions were for unacceptable physical contact, including hitting, biting, and assault. It’s not just Tulsa where this is happening. Educators across the country have sounded the alarm about a troubling trend nationwide: more preschoolers getting expelled and suspended.
According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the expulsion and suspension rate is three times higher for preschoolers than for children in kindergarten through 12th grades.
Educators nationwide are reporting a rise in behavioral challenges across the country following the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, particularly from children who were born or spent their formative years in isolation.
What’s unacceptable is living in a society where 4-year-olds are being suspended from school and, moreover, demonstrating violent, dysregulated behavior that leads to suspension.
So what’s going on that’s leaving our youngest learners unable not only to learn, behave in developmentally appropriate ways, and engage in joyful relationships with their peers and teachers, but also ending up having their emotions be the boss of them instead of them being the boss of their own emotions? It’s clear that all of these children — of all ages — lack emotional regulation and, perhaps during their most formative years, did not have the opportunity to experience emotional regulation supported and modeled for them by the caregivers in their lives.
Although our emotions drive our thinking, feeling, and behavior and impact our learning, it’s emotional regulation that positively impacts one’s sense of self, interactions with others, and academic outcomes. When children have the support in learning how to manage their emotions and understand those of others from birth and beyond, they are then able to excel at learning and in life.
In another article, I read about a school based in San Diego where preschoolers are scoring above average, and emotional regulation was at the center of every activity. This preschool is dedicated to children who have experienced family trauma, and it recognizes that all children, especially those who have experienced trauma, need support for mental health and emotional regulation. The students at this therapeutic preschool, where emotional regulation is at its center, scored above average on the Kindergarten Readiness Test, proving that by centering emotional regulation, academic achievement is possible.
➡️Read more blogs about emotional regulation.
These articles resonated with me because I’ve dedicated my life’s work to teaching children of all ages how to manage and regulate their emotions and understand those of others—the skills of emotional intelligence, which must be a priority in every educational and personal setting.
The focus on helping children develop emotional regulation is essential for lifelong success both in learning and in life and should not be just an intervention approach in therapeutic schools, but rather should be integrated into all schools, as a prevention model where all children can benefit from being provided with this foundational skill for lifelong success–for it is far easier to prevent than repair.
Managing and regulating emotions is a direct line to academic success, positive social interactions, and a more positive sense of self. At Housman Learning, we are a prevention/intervention-focused emotional intelligence program for infants and beyond. We provide the tools and resources adults need to help positively shape the architecture of children’s brains for life, and also support their own emotional well-being.
It’s the old oxygen mask rule – by first supporting the adults in children’s lives, we have the resources where we can then model, guide, and support children. Children develop within the context of relationships, so when the adult’s emotional well-being is supported to be more emotionally aware, we’re then able to nurture those same competencies in children.
So rather than kicking 4-year-olds out of preschool, let’s focus on how we can equip the adults in their lives with the tools they need not only to help foster and support children’s own emotional health and academic success but also their own success, both personally and professionally.
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